Thursday, December 31

2009, lets sum up.

I've made everything in neat little subtitles, incase you want to skip around to parts you care about...

Another year, come and gone. My first entry from last year was -

"It's an age-old war. Like the werewolves and the vampires. I think Underworld was actually originally about crocheters and knitters but they thought it would be too controversial so they changed it to vampires and werewolves." - Joss Whedon"

-with a mini paragraph hotlinked about feeling the world slipping out from under me. Its been a rough year. I have my footing back though.

All Quiet on the Job Front,
December graduation was a bit sticky. That's for sure. Not looking a gift horse in the mouth, i have two degrees. I'm proud of them. They will forever hang on my wall, unless swankier degrees replace them. I bounced from unfulfilling job to self righteous indignation, and landed with Ag* in the summer. I liked working there, developing vaccines for biological weapons. I felt important, and rushed. Unfortunately, the FDA & DARPA didn't see them as that important and the funding went away. A month of interviews and resume building and I found myself here. I do like the testing we do, the company is morally and economically sound, and my co workers are amazing. As soon as we pick back up a bit, I'll be fully content. I have a steady pay, accrue time off, and have health insurance (ooooo.. aaaaaahhh) I've moved up the ranks, little by little, and am constantly being trained on new tests. There will eventually be a move to 2nd shift, perhaps....which would be convenient for communication purposes, but I might wind up staying on 1st.

Heartbreak Warfare,

Everyone saw the inevitable coming, and unfortunately, I was the last one to see that it was a really good idea. I thought in summer, perhaps, with new people moving in, that it would make things better. Instead, it became much worse. Things began to crumble around last christmas, and they just kept going. I refuse to go into detail on all that here, because..honestly, its not my place. Nail in the coffin were the new roommates.

It's completely illogical for 4 grown adults (2 couples) to live happily in a 1200sq ft. apartment, but I never felt alone until around August. It never ceases to amaze me (and devastate me) how incredibly lonely I could feel in a house filled with crap, and people. Though, I learned that Im incredibly selective and judgemental on people I would consider friending/being friends with. I'm tough, ambitious, intelligent, and while I hate to be alone, I can handle a weekend with myself, and I loathe girls that can't or aren't. I'm all for being young and making stupid decisions, but I
can't see being so dependant on someone for breathing that you cant get out of bed without them calling 2390849235025 times a day. I will never understand people who do not understand the value of intelligence, and education and planning ahead. No one ever retired on waiting tables, heck, no one ever got to travel to new places, eat nice dinners or drink a great bottle of wine working retail forever.

I've always struggled to completely cut ties with people, but I'm pretty sure I'm ok with this one.

One Eyed, One Horned Flying Purple People Eaters....ok, cats.
Not having Ozzy with Oi is heartbreaking. Their names go together, for a reason. I think it's the only thing I miss about my old life and situation. He was such a sweet amazing cat, and though I realize he always loved S more than me, I'm still saddened he isnt with Oi. Oi was always my cat. He waits by the door for me, sleeps on my head and still suckles on the blankets if you pet him, but he was used to kitten I got Olive. A poor abused kitten when she was given to me, shes now chubby, fluffy and FULL of life. Oi appreciates her company, if you arent looking he'll cuddle with her, and she follows him around like a dutiful little sister. So, while I didnt get a puppy this year (sorry resolution) I got Olive, and she'll just have to do for a little bit.

Open Arms,
I met someone new. Ok, I met alot of people, that isnt the point. Someone who means something to me, matters alot, and makes me happy. It's really nice to have someone on my side with all the crap dumping thats been going on lately. I can honestly say that this last trip to NYC was the most magical one I've ever had. Christmas was completely amazing and I have nothing but wonderful memories from a December NYC..even if I had to laugh my way through the disaster ridden events of a few nights... perhaps, if you hound me enough, I'll try to write them all down...perhaps. Even Biltmore was more spectacular. I didn't realize how nice it was to be allowed to relax and enjoy things and not have to rush back to fit everything in a be able to say, we can do the segway tour cause you really want too, since I know you'll do the fly fishing experience with me, and really mean that its perfectly fine to do something..together, that only one of us really wants to do, so, maybe you'll try a wine bar with me, if I'll eat your deep fried cactus... I think I'd forgotten how relationships worked. There's a team involved, with both parties working towards a common happy. Not a complete sacrifice and constant self doubt. I feel like I wanna be a better person now, not a different one, just a happier help-ier smarter one.

Paragraph 5: Then & Now, without the rose colored glasses...
I think I'm starting to become a happy person again. Dont worry, your favorite biting sarcasm is here to stay, but I'm feeling the negative that sat in my soul drifting away. I dance more, laugh so hard my cheeks hurt, and get more warm fuzzies than I did in the early/mid parts of the year. I've reconnected with old friends (Hi DAVE!), and watched good friends of mine have life changing events (hello cicero!, and everyone check out the rock that B is wearing) and I'm thrilled for them.

I started 2009 with 3 resolutions: (I added a new one in Feb) Get a new job that made me happy, get a new apartment that was not inhabited by 4 grown adults, and get a puppy. Shortly added, be happy with a new man... I think I did ok on those this year. Good Job Me. I have a great job (see above), a new kitten, (again..above), a new apartment, and a wonderful man. I guess 2009 wasnt so bad afterall. I'm happy with the way my life is going, and if I could stay like this'd be perfect. (ok, I still want a puppy, or two..then it'd be perfect)

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